Thursday, February 16, 2006

Three people I'll Never Forget

There are three types of people in life. The people you love and who you'll never forget, the people who massively piss you off and for that reason, you'll never forget them either. Then there are those other people who are like smoke. You vaguely remember waving your hand to get them out of the way, but you can't recall their names or faces or other details about them. Just that someone was there.

Now, I'm not talking about the people who you have a relationship with, be that a friendship, an acquaintance, or someone you had mind blowing sex with one drunk night.

I'm talking about the people who you cross paths with on a daily basis. The ones who you exchange a few words with and then you might never see them again. The cashier at the grocery store; the bartender at a club; the guy who hits on you in the parking lot while you're trying to scarf down McDonald's.

These are the three people who I've crossed path who I will never forget, because they managed to piss me off more than just about anyone else on Earth:

The Moronic Airline Passenger: To put myself through college, I worked as a flight attendant on a charter airline. My passengers were drunk college students, white trash and people who thought that spending $100 for a return ticket between Canada and Florida meant that they should be treated like the King of England. On a particular flight, as I was picking up everyone's nasty used trays of food, I bent down to put a tray in my cart and the passenger next to my cart put his hand on my arm and with great pity in his eyes said to me "Don't you wish you'd stayed in school." Thanks asshole, but unlike you, I actually finished grade 9. The funniest part is that I was working on my BA, the flight attendant across the aisle from me was working on his Ph.D. and our flight director was finishing her MBA. He couldn't have had a flight with more overly qualified attendants.

The Obnoxious PR Agency Representative: When I started as the PR coordinator for this small software company in Dallas, I already had more than five years experience in the field and so felt like I pretty much had a good idea of what I was talking about. The company at the time also used a PR agency, so the CEO wanted me to meet them and see how I could use them better. Upon meeting me, our account rep said to me "So, do you know anything about PR?" Uhm, yeah asshole, that's why my title is PR Coordinator. It does not stand for paper raiser. Or Penis Raider. In fact, I knew so much about PR, I fired that agency the next day.

The No Tact Baby Registry Lady: I was barely four months pregnant when I went to register at Babies R Us with Sweetie Pie. I wasn't really showing then, I just looked chunky. And we didn't know what the sex was yet, but I had to try out the strollers and car seats right there and then because having to pick all that stuff stressed me out. When we got to the registry counter, the lady said to me "You must be having a girl!" Actually, I replied, we don't know yet, but why do you think we're having a girl. "Because your neck's dirty," she explained. Thanks a lot for telling me that I'm not just fat and cranky, I'm also filthy. I spent the rest of the day horrified, with my hands clamped over my neck.

It amazes me how a perfect stranger can leave a permanent mark on your life. Makes me wonder if there are people out there who still think of me with hatred, based on a two-minute interaction 10 or 20 years ago. Am I someone's moronic airline passenger? Or obnoxious PR rep? I can't be someone's no tact baby registry lady though, so at least I can sleep soundly knowing I've dodged one bullet.



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