Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Next Year, I'm Just Cancelling Christmas

Now I've mentioned in a previous post a couple of horrendous Christmas gifts I got. Well, this weekend, I had to deal with another shitty one, this one had a gift receipt attached, however, so I wasn't as unhappy with it.

My mother-in-law is pretty much hit and miss with gifts. She started buying me gift certificates to The Limited three or four years ago, and that made me the happiest person in the world, because The Limited is my favorite store.

This year, I'm guessing the gift budget got reduced for me because Sweetie Pie's sister got married and all of a sudden, my mother-in-law had two in-laws to buy for. I'd previously been an only in-law, and I greatly enjoyed this time. Now, I have to share which means that I'm prone to tantrums and pouting.

Anyway, this year my gifts consisted of ugly ass slippers that are so soft and comfortable, I actually kept them, despite them making my feet look like they belong on an 80-year old's body; some cash (which is always good, especially when you have lots of debt like we do) and the world's ugliest jacket.

My mother-in-law has this favorite store. I'd hate to mention the name of it on this blog, because I don't have a lot of readers and if one of you shops there, then you'll take offense to my hatred of this store and stop reading my blog and then no one will read me anymore and it'll be like talking to myself, which until Baby Boy arrived, was pretty much what I did most of the day.

Anyway, this store my mother-in-law shops at, I've never been in. But I'd walked by the window a few times and shuddered at the sight of the Mom Jeans and ugly ass jackets.

Unfortunately, I became the proud owner of one of those jackets. Best way for me to describe it is imagine the world's ugliest paisley couch. Cut a jacket out of the fabric, stick it in a box and you have my gift. This jacket doesn't look like anything I'd ever remotely approach, let alone wear.

However, my mother-in-law upon seeing this jacket, decided that it was soooooo me.

Odd. I never thought of myself as an ugly ass jacket.

Either way, Sweetie Pie and I headed to the mall with Baby Boy and the ugly jacket and proceeded to exchange it. I went to their Web site to figure out if there was a closer location to us and that's when I saw more of their clothing. And my blood ran cold.

I warned Sweetie Pie that there was the distinct possibility that I may not like anything in the whole damn store.

And well, long story short, there wasn't anything I liked in the whole damn store. Which I knew would probably happen when I saw that every sales lady in there was over 60 years-old.

Unfortunately for me, the store was having its big annual sale. So this meant that hundreds of 55+ year old women were running through the store, grabbing ugly blouses, hideous jackets and too many pairs of Mom Jeans while we tried not to get stepped on. We walked the store four times. Literally, nothing in that store would be something I'd want to bother carrying home. I told Sweetie Pie we should just pick something out for his mother with my credit and give it to her as a Mother's Day present. That's how desperate I was getting.

Finally, we saw the jewelry case and there was a necklace in silver with my initial on it and even though I would never normally spend 40 dollars on a necklace like that, I did. And then I bought a 15 dollar frame that's made of fake suede. Which once again, I'd never spend that much on a frame, but it was either that or Mom Jeans. And I'm just not ready for that.

On another note, I've lost two pounds in two weeks. Yeah, I know totally beating the world record for weight loss. Don't hate the player, that's all I'm saying.



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