Monday, October 03, 2005

I Don't Know How I Keep Forgetting to Tell This Story...

So here is the most awkward moment in the history of mankind...

A few days after Baby Boy was born, my mom came down from Canada to see him, and I guess me by default.

The day after she arrived into town, I had an appointment with the doctor who sliced me open like a fish so she could check that I was healing properly, that my blood pressure had gone back to normal and that I was re-entering the world of the living after narrowly escaping death.

My mom came with me of course, to keep an eye on Baby Boy while I was being prodded.

Since I'd never been to that doctor's office really, and met her for the first time right before I was rushed to surgery, I had to fill out the gazillion pages long survey that doctors' offices make you fill out for whatever reason.

Since there was nothing else to do in the waiting room, I started reading the survey allowed to entertain my mom. Which was all fine and dandy until on page 87, one of the questions was "have you had more than five sexual partners?" and my mom at this point was reading along with me.

My life flashed before my eyes. I had two options. Answer the truth and have my mother wonder exactly how many more than five my number was. Or lie.

It only took me about one tenth of a second and I checked "no."

I figured my answer would not affect the healing of my c-section scar. However, it would affect my ability to look my mother in the eyes for the rest of my life.



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