Thursday, July 21, 2005

You Want Reality TV? This is Reality TV!

Now, it seems they've done shows just about everything now. People stuck on an island. People stuck in a house. People stuck with ugly faces getting their faces fixed so they look like creepy plastic aliens. Now they even have a show about brats stuck in the Oregon desert (I didn't even know Oregon had a desert, so this was most interesting to me.

But really, nothing can match the drama of Catwoman and Sweeti Pie this week. Picture this... Two. People. Stuck. In. A. Beautiful. New House. With. No. Fridge.

Before you roll your eyes and go "who cares!" let me have you do this. Padlock your fridge and pretend it's not there for three days. Now try to survive. Go out and buy just enough food to make your dinner that night and don't keep any leftovers of any kind. Don't buy mayo, milk or anything that requires refrigeration. If you like sodas, learn to enjoy them at room temperature. And now repeat. Every. Day.

Cool, eh?

Yeah, not so much.

I think the fridge gods had decided that Sweetie Pie and I had taken for granted our food cooling device and that we needed to be taught the daily importance our fridge has in our lives.

I mean, we've never bought a Christmas present for our fridge. Or offered it a glass of wine when we're toasting whatever the hell we happen to be toasting. Hell, we've never even taken it to Six Flags.

Really, we are truly, truly bad fridge owners.

And so when our old fridge died on Sunday night (actually, it went into a fridge coma and we made the hard decision to respect his living will and pull his little fridge cord), we truly learned very quickly how important that fridge had been in our lives. The laughs that we shared. The funny smells it would put out when something would be forgotten in the back and slowly left to rot to a putrid unrecognizable mass. All these happy memories are just that now.

But SPCF (The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fridges) is giving us another chance. Today, the kind people at Home Depot are delivering us a new fridge and removing the carcass of our old one (we decided to do the viewing of the body of our previous fridge in our kitchen, since he's too heavy for us to move) and from now on, I'm bringing my fridge to parties. So if you invite me anywhere, don't be surprised if I RSVP for three, because I know my new fridge will like to boogie.



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