Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Please Rub my Belly...

Most of you know by now that I'm a woman. I mean, if my name "catwoman" didn't give it away and the fact that I have the ability to be pregnant didn't give it away, then well, I guess I'm amazed that you can read this.

The point is, that being a woman, I have that keen gift that 51 percent of the population has, which is that we change our mind on a whim and that we can get annoyed about not having things that we didn't want to start with, just because we can.

Before I got pregnant, I'd hear all these stories about how fun it is to be pregnant, how people hold the door for you all the time and how strangers touch your belly all the time and how you feel like your personal space is being violated and stuff.

Well, I'm not being violated. And it's really starting to piss me off. I mean, I realize that my belly looks more like a gut. But come on! I'm 25 1/2 weeks into this pregnancy. The countdown clock is on now and I'm starting to feel like Jack Bauer in 24, except that I take a lot of pee and lunch breaks unlike him. Plus I'm not having to torture people. The point is, that I only have MAYBE 14 1/2 weeks left of this pregnancy if baby boy decides to not come early.

And yet, no benefits. No one opens doors for me. No one carries my groceries out for me. No one reaches for my belly without asking first. Why is this? Am I not lovable enough as a pregnant woman where people are just like "screw her, she looks like she can fend for herself."

I mean, I'm wearing the maternity clothes now. And this other pregnant woman behind me at the post office on Saturday could tell I was pregnant because she told the person on the other end of her cell phone "there's another pregnant woman in front of me." And I'm pretty sure she meant me, because the only people in front of us were an 80 year-old woman and two guys.

I just want the opportunity to bitch about people touching me inappropriately. I don't see why it's so damn difficult.

Love,

Catwoman.

1 comment:

Bart's Camille said...

Sorry Cat. I hated people rubbing my belly. Take it as a compliment that they don't reach out and touch your belly - maybe they don't think it looks round enough to warrant a rub. Here's a virtual belly rub for you... feel better? I'm a fellow Frisco-ite, Frisconian, resident of Frisco - just dropping in to say hi.