Monday, January 17, 2005

Things That Make You Go Blah!

I don't know if I ever bought into the myths of pregnant women and the crazy cravings. Every time a friend of mine would be pregnant, I'd ask them about the crazy cravings, but none of them ever reported wanting to suck on oak tree bark or wanting trout with peanut butter.

And still, I know that I'm still very early on in this process, but I have yet to crave anything in particular it seems. I do however know that more than ever now, when I need to eat, I need to eat NOW!!!! We went out to eat on Saturday night at this local restaurant that we enjoy very much, me particular because they have the best chicken fingers in all of Texas. They also have awesome freshly baked bread that they bring out to you almost as soon as you sit.

Well, Saturday night, I was feeling ravenous. We sit down to order and our waitress walks away. But no bread. I'm standing up to see if the people around us have bread, but I can't seem to spot any. The waitress comes back, drops off Sweetie Pie's salad, but doesn't bring any bread. At this point, watching Sweetie Pie eating his salad makes bright spots explode in my eyeballs. I have to have f'ing bread, and I have to have it now! Can these people not tell the urgency of the freaking situation? If you think the tsunami was pissed off, just wait another minute to bring me bread bitch!

All of a sudden, the waiter for the section across the room comes out WITH BREAD! Houston, we have contact! Like a person at sea, I begin dramatically waving my hands above my head, knocking the table and Sweetie Pie out of my way (forget the fact Sweetie Pie offered me his salad. It has 1,000 Island Dressing on it. YUCK! How desperate do you think I am? PFFFFF!) And miraculously, the waiter, seeing the beads of sweat pouring down my face comes over. "We don't have bread," I tell him, lips quivering. Sensing the potential drama (he was wearing a wedding band, so maybe he's been through this at home himself), he reassures me he'll be right back with bread. And he was. The world was saved from nuclear destruction for another day.

On the other hand, I have begun to notice certain aversions to things. For example toothpaste. I've always loved the minty feeling I get from toothpaste. Nothing wakes you up like a good toothbrushing. Yet right now, it's 9:15 in the morning and I think I will continue to keep the fuzz on my teeth just a little longer.

You see, for the past few days, every time I've brushed my teeth, my eyes have watered, my throat made horrible gagging sounds and I could feel old food try to climb back up the digestive system. And those symptoms have gotten a little worse during each morning and evening tooth brushing incident. Now the idea of not brushing my teeth for the next 7 1/2 months horrifies me. It also would pretty much guarantee that I would never get pregnant again. But at the same time, I'm becoming more and more frightened at the sight of my toothbrush.

I read online that if mint toothpaste started freaking you out, that you could try kids' toothpaste. So I'm going to go try that and have the great breath of freshly chewed bubblegum for the majority of 2005. Oh goody!



1 comment:

Slinky Cat said...

Hi, I came across your blog by accident about a week ago, and found myself coming back for more! I hope you don't mind if I link your blog, because your writing really cracks me up! : )