Friday, January 14, 2005

I Hate Star Jones

I don't get the whole Star Jones thing. She's morbidly obese without an attractive face. She makes everything about being black (why can't we all just get along bitch?) and she has the greed and personality of a troll.

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. That's all I hear when Star Jones opens her mouth. Why on Earth would Continental Airlines accept to sponsor her wedding? And why the hell would they think "ooh! by being the official airline of Bitch Jones' wedding, millions will think 'I want to fly Continental too!' yes, that's it!"

Makes me convinced that I will never fly Continental again. And forget the fact I swore that four years ago when they stranded my husband, then my boyfriend, in Columbus and made him buy a ticket for $400 on a better airline so he didn't spend one of his two nights with me in Columbus rather than in Toronto with me.

But if there was ever a chance for me to change my mind and fly Continental again (oh, wait, I just realized that I did fly them because they had a dirt cheap fare to France when we got married), it will now never happen again.

I really hate Star Jones. If I had the choice between spending an afternoon with Star Jones or Satan, I think I would choose Satan because I figure at least he'd have interesting stories to tell. And good gossip. I'm sure he'd have good gossip.

But Star, which first of all has got to be the stupidest name ever for somebody, and her parents should be thrown in jail for calling her that if that is her real name is taking over the red carpet at the Golden Globes this year, and it makes me want to hurl my TV across the backyard. Luckily, pregnant women shouldn't lift heavy things, and that's the only thing preventing me from doing so.

But I'll tell you this much. I am done. I am starting a boycott of Star Jones and any network she's on. You're not a celebrity Star. And your decision to wear fur all the freaking time and cause the slaughter of thousands of animals just to distract us from your ginormous ass make me even angrier. The fact that you have no personality and choose to just suck up to all the celebrities cause me to spontaneously spew vomit just at the mention of you and an awards show.

So get off my screen. I want a no-Star Jones on TV week. I'm going to write to president Bush and tell him to forget about the rest of the world's problems and starting wars and all that stuff for a week. Give us something that will really bring all Americans together once and for all. That's right: the deportation of Star Jones on some desolate island.

And if you don't believe in my cause, just visit this. If it doesn't make you gag, then you have an iron-clad stomach.

Oh, and by the way Star, if you're reading this, I have one more thing to tell you: your husband's gay.

Love,

Catwoman

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Catwoman - you are a genius! I agree with you, but don't worry, star will explode at any moment.

Anonymous said...

I also hate Star Jones. She is so full of herself. She is constantly trying to convince herself that she is attractive and a meaningful celebrity. I don't even consider her a celebrity. She's nothing more than an annoyance and does nothing for the plus size women out there who deserve a lot of respect. For instance Queen Latifah. She doesn't hold a candle to her or that Camron chick. She should just give up and save us a lot of pain by having to see her on TV every once in awhile. She also has the fakest and ugliest smile around.

I don't even like "The View". I tried watching once and was soo...annoyed by those women and their lame jokes (they are geeks) that I had to change the channel.