Sunday, December 12, 2004

Burger King Sucks Anyway

If I were her, I would have just stolen something else to put on eBay just to tell them to bite me. She would have had to work 166.66666666666 hours to make the same amount of money as she got for the balloon.

Note to self: must bid on Sponge Bob balloon... Could put Santa hat on it next Christmas and be bestest house in the hood.

Other note to self: Next time I get fired, make sure it's for something cool like stealing a Sponge Bob balloon, not for "differences in philosophies" and "on-the-job drunkeness."



Uhm... OK...

This is fascinatingto me...

You're depressed... So you decided to cut off your penis... You don't change your mind when you grab the ax... You don't change your mind when you whip out your unit... You don't change your mind when you lay it down on a log... You don't change you mind when you hand is halfway down with the ax... But once you see the blood, you finally realize "gee, this isn't going to make my family any richer because it's against eBay's policies to post human parts."

Do they even have eBay in Serbia? I sure couldn't move there if they didn't.

I'm just happy about the whole penis detachment due to money troubles. It makes my dealing with financial uncertainty (a.k.a. sticking it to the credit card companies by charging more crap I don't need) seem a lot more balanced. A lot less painful too. If you consider threatening calls from collection agencies less painful than cutting off one's sex organs.

Which I truly am of the believe that it is. I can always hang up on the collection people or claim they have the wrong number. With the penis, well... You just end up losing all of your friends because they think you're psycho. And you end up being a story on

Just not good.