Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Must... Focus... Even... If... It... Kills... Me...

I am really all over the place these days. I mean, I don't think I can even manage to complete a single thought. Being unemployed and a part-time freelancer is really either the ideal situation for me or it will be what officially sends me over the edge. You see, as before work would force me to complete a couple of thoughts a day, now, I have the freedom to just bounce from cloud to cloud, like I'm never going to come down. Huh, that's a song with a guy and Santana. See? Not a complete thought.

Yesterday my books came in the mail. I was VERY excited! You see, I joined the Writer's Digest book of the month club or whatever those things are called. And for the low, low how-do-they-make-a-profit price, I got like six books including "how to create a plot," "how to write children's books," "writer's digest markets 2005," "you're boring your friends with these titles" and some others I don't recall.

So far I've read two pages of the one about writing children's books. And of course, I have decided to write a children's book. You'd think that would be perfect for catwoman, considering those of you with parents know that young children's books are only like 15 pages long. Perfect with someone who has the attention span as long as hurricane season in South Dakota.

And yet, I've already bounced off to something else. I've once again signed up for classes with Barnes & Nobles online. You see, the folks at Barnes & Nobles offer this free university! They have all of these cool classes and they're all free! Which of course always leads me to sign up to too many (I signed up for three yesterday) and then I realize the books that go with the class are above my budget (especially right now) and so I try to read the lectures but only get about 1/100th of the value of the class and then the next week I'm bored with it and then get annoyed everytime I find another reminder email about some lecture or assignment in my Yahoo account.

I mean really, they should know me better than that!

I'm taking a class on fiction. But it's already boring me because it's all about the characters in the Great Gatsby. You know what? I'm an avid reader. I've been studying characters in books since I was three years old. So don't give me this crap. What I need is someone to teach me how to be focused enough to actually write a book.

If this blog was any good, I could eventually get to the point where I would have enough entries to just print them out, bind them together and call it a book, but unfortunately, I don't think that America at large will want to read my whinings and musings. I mean America will watch a show featuring 15 people living in the equivalent of an IKEA box with nothing to do but bicker and vote each other off for three months. But I just don't think my blog is as interesting a concept as the lame concept of Big Brother.

Which of course, because Sweetie Pie has forced me to watch it all summer, I'm addicted to as well. Especially last night's episode. It was actually interesting to watch these people of small intelligence actually come up with a strategy that 1) Made sense and 2) Would work.

I was very impressed with their success at completing a thought. Maybe instead of learning about characters in stupid books that don't help with my Adult ADD, I should learn from the ways of people like Diane, Drew and Cowboy.

That sound would me reaching a new low.



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