Saturday, August 28, 2004

Hahaha! Gotcha!

I love to be a step ahead of people! It makes me feel so good about myself and like I'm superior to someone.

And I have to say, today I got Sweetie Pie good.

You see, today is our two year anniversary. Last year, I kind of screwed up and thought we were under the understanding that we weren't going to buy each other anything, since we'd just returned from Europe and all of our money needed to go to the greedy credit card company. I don't know what it's like to deal with loan sharks, but I'm sure they learn all of their tricks from the credit card companies.

Anyway, Sweetipie got me a beautiful pearl necklace and then gave me the matching earrings for my birthday two weeks later. I got him a card. In my defense, it was a very funny card. Although, the people on it kind of looked like they were African-American, which of course neither one of us are. But I didn't really notice that until Sweetie Pie pointed it out.

But this year, Sweetie Pie and I had the conversation about our anniversary gifts after I got fired and I somehow got the impression that he was going to buy me something.

So I did good. I got him a gas grill and strings and picks for his guitar. And I got him a card that was a wink, wink kind of card, if you get my drift.

Anyway, Sweetie Pie's hair turned grayer for a second when he saw his gifts and he stammered something about how he thought we weren't getting each other anything this year.

OK, fine that he was under that understanding. After all, I screwed up last year because I thought the same thing. But he didn't even get me a card????

I mean here I am, I've spent $3.99 for a bottle of something called "strawberry champagne" for our big dinner tonight and he didn't even get me a card.

Anyway, I made us some coffee and Sweetie Pie insisted on bringing it to me and then placed my favorite dog next to me on the couch.

He then proceeded to get dressed and said he had a couple of errands to run. Yeah, that's not suspicious at all. Totally wanting to freak him out even more, I asked a couple of times where he was going. His answer: "just a couple of places."

Well, let's see. I've had a picture of a right-hand diamond ring from Zale's on the fridge for a month now. Hopefully this screw up makes him buy it for me.

So here's the question: how mad am I allowed to be?

I think I should be at least a little. I mean, come on! It's 11:04 a.m. on the day of our anniversary and my husband is out buying me a card and a present? I deserve to at least be miffed or at least irked, peeved or chagrined. Uhm, yeah, I used the thesaurus. Don't you think I deserve it as I sit alone on my anniversary?

Second question: how long do I get to play the "my husband didn't buy me something for our anniversary" card? I hope it's longer than the "I got fired because my personality sucks" card. Because people didn't let me play that one at all.

Oh and one more thing: I'm boycotting UPS. I was expecting a package yesterday and it said it was on the truck being delivered at 3:54 a.m. yesterday. Not sure which road from DFW airport to Frisco prevents you from delivering a package on the same day when you leave before 4 a.m. That rush hour traffic seems to be starting earlier and earlier. I've never liked that gross brown color of there's anyway. Why would you want to have everything of yours the color of fecal matter?



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