Monday, August 23, 2004

Bad Brain, BAD!!!!

Sometimes I just hate my brain. It seems to be on a completely different schedule then the rest of my body. Anyone who's had to deal with me first thing in the morning knows that i'm pretty much a morning person. I'm pretty peppy and cheerful first thing in the morning, whether it's 5 a.m. or 8 a.m.

But while my body and my personality are raring to go in the morning, my brain doesn't tend to follow suit. And I'm noticing more and more that my brain decides to come up with really great ideas right as I'm ready to go to bed.

And so now, it's 12:15 in the morning and I'm completely exhausted and should be asleep, but I can't because my stupid brain decided to come up with a great idea at 11:15.

Sigh.

And I have to say, I'm pretty darn proud of my brain. As far as ideas go, I'm not sure this one is gold-medal worthy, but I'd say it's at least a bronze, borderline silver. See, as I've gone into business for myself during the past week, I've been trying to come up with additional ways to make money. Prostitution is out of the question, because really, the commute from Frisco to Stemmons Freeway would just be too much trouble.

But I just figured out a way to add some freelance work to my very small collection of current assignments. Those of you who know about my little side business will get this whole story. The rest of you, tough. You should just know me a little better if you're reading my most intimate thoughts.

Anyway, the owner of the company I work for as extra income has basically been way too swamped to keep the monthly newsletter going. The last issue came out about two years ago. So I just sent her an email telling her that I'd be happy to do it and she can just pay me in goods at wholesale price, which I can just turn around and sell at parties for retail price. So she doesn't end up paying me what I'm worth but then I have the opportunity to make more than I'm worth. Well, actually, not really, but at least I'll come close to being paid what I'm worth. So I'm pretty excited about this. I really think that it's a win-win for both of us.

And since I can't call her to tell her about my great idea because I don't think she'll appreciate the greatness of it at 1:15 a.m. her time, I sent her an email with my proposition. So just keep your fingers crossed that I get to add her to my list of clients.

It's actually funny that this post is about my brain, because that will be the second time today that it's been the topic of conversation. Wow, not every day I get to say that.

You see, today I finally gathered the courage to tell my mom about the firing incident. And those of you who told me it might not be as bad as I thought it would be were actually right. I don't know if I caught her on an off day or if she's been Stepford Wived, but she said that it was probably a blessing in disguise. Which of course is the tune that everyone's been singing to me for the last week, to the point that I'm very convinced of this even if it means certain poverty.

Of course, being my mother she did have to share one irrational thought with me. And I have to say this one's a gem. My mom claims the reason that I was fired is because of my brain. That I was simply too smart and that's what got me fired. You see, my mother claims that I am so smart and independent, that I often just do what I know needs to be done without telling anyone, leaving people in my dust. And apparently those people I leave in my dust don't appreciate so and they get jealous and then they plot on how to destroy me. Which I thought was a really funny thing. Because how many people do you know get fired for being too smart?

Of course, Sweetie Pie always looking to burst any bubble tells me that if I really was that smart, I'd figure out a way not to disgruntle these jealous stupid people. Who knew I'd enjoy talking to my mother more than Sweetie Pie today. Hope he finds that couch real comfortable.

So anyway, for those of you who are as smart or smarter than me, be forewarned. Your intelligence could cost you your job. Why Pamela Anderson is so much richer than me is starting to make a lot of sense all of a sudden.

Well, ok, fine, there's also the fact that she has the body to pose for Playboy, but why do you choose to bring that up and hurt my feelings?

Love,

Catwoman.

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