Thursday, July 29, 2004

You've Lost That Barfy Feeling, Wooooo That Barfy Feeling

Actually I haven't lost that barfy feeling and I'm having a very mild anxiety attack. This week's been brutal at work and I feel like a turkey in a pack of swans right now and it seems I keep going "gobble gobble" and giving myself away. It's not that I mean to or that I can't get the job done, is that once people start picking away at you and finding things wrong in everything you do, all of a sudden it seems you can't do anything else than go "gobble gobble" and look hideous. Because after all, that's all turkeys do.

I've told myself I would keep this blog light and make attempts at it being funny. I know I don't succeed very often at that, but at least I give it the old university try (for the record I know the expression is "college try," but I'm from Canada, so I didn't go to college). But today, I really don't feel good. I'm run down from going to the Nickelback concert last night and I woke up with horrendous stomach pains and a dizzy head. And I'm hating the job.

I have to say I may work with the most anal people in the world. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm quite the opposite of that. In fact the only thing anal about me is... well, enter your own ending here, I don't want to get crude on the Internet.

And so I feel frustrated. Very regularly. I feel frustrated because people like me who are not anal and borderline very disorganized have our own way of working. We do it in chaos, but as long as no one calls us on it, we'll always get the work done. But when someone freaks out about the way you are handling things, it causes the very well juggled chaos to come crashing down and sends people like me in a panic.

Anyway, that tends to be my daily dance these days. And I have to say, it ain't fun at all. And so now I'm back to being five and wondering what I want to be when I grow up. Only problem is, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I was five. I was going to be a vet. I wasn't picky about the animals, I'd take anything, but I had decided I would have a sign that would say "I do not treat snakes, worms or bugs." Because they creeped me out then. Actually, they still creep me out.

I noticed yesterday that there's something worse than having the weight of the world on your shoulders. And that's having wet jeans on. Doe ANYTHING feel heavier than wet jeans? I went to the Nickelback concert last night with my sister-in-law and anyone in Dallas knows that we got TORRENTIAL rains last night. So of course, our evening out meant a lot of running in the rain. And my jeans got soaked. I'm talking turn on the washing machine and take out the jeans when it's completely filled with water and then just put them on. That's just how it felt last night. It was insane. Maybe the reason I feel so crappy today is because of the pneumonia.

Pneumonia... That's such an interesting word to me. Love the silent "p." I wish I could have a really cool name with a silent letter. Like "Boob," but the second "o" would be silent. So then I could get all offended when people call me "Boob." I would scoff at them and say "It's BOB, you moron! The second "o" is silent!" Of course, since I don't go through life scoffing at people and calling them morons, I'd probably just go through life being called boob, which I think the novelty would wear off really fast on that one.

Anyway, back to sitting in my cube feeling sorry for myself.



1 comment:

MartiniGal said...

I know your exact feelings. I have been there. Hope you feel better, Boob!!