Saturday, July 31, 2004

Please... Just One More Hit... Then I'll Quit...

Well, this blog is simply taking a life of its own. It started out as a curiosity, something everyone was doing. Since I had lived a sheltered life, I'd never tried it. I thought it smelled kind of funny, but in a cool way. Then my friend M. told me about hers and if she was doing it, I definitely had to do it! I couldn't be the ONLY one of my friends who wasn't doing it! Who cares what mom told me. Yes, if my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would do it to. After all, who would I hang out with if they were all dead? Like, duh!

Anyway, so began my fall into the crazy world of blogging. It started out slow, where I tried it once, it made my head hurt the next day. But then M. started pressuring me three days later: "you don't have another entry????" And so I held my breath and did it again. The side effects were better the second time. A little more experienced, I could handle the visions. But what I could especially appreciate was the fact that my blogging friends liked me just a little more because I was now one of them. And my non-blogging friends looked at me (on IM and on the phone since I haven't had a chance to see them at all since my whole blogging thing began) as if I was a little more dangerous and cool.

And all of a sudden, I seemed to fall off the cliff. Every day, a new blog. Some mildly amusing, some just horrible desperate rants of a woman potentially on the brink of a psychotic episode. Yet, no matter what my state of mind, I had to do it. I kept doing it. It doesn't matter if it requires stealing money from oil tycoons, I have to get my blog fix (note from editor: anyone know where I can find an oil tycoon? Sweetie Pie and I need a new living room fan).

But what's gotten worse is that on the days where I actually can shake my way through my need for blogging, I now have to deal with the hardest form of cruelty ever: peer pressure.

For some it ends in high school. For me, it's just a part of every day life. But as my friends logged on to my blog yesterday and noticed that for the first time this week I hadn't added a post, the cruelty began:

"no blog?"
"why you no blogging?"
"Are you going to post today?"

And my head started spinning. My toes curled. And yet I fought on. Work had to be done and having had a new butthole added earlier in the week by my president for missing a deadline (I hear plastic surgery is painful and I now believe it. Having an extra butthole chewed out, is extremely painful), I was a woman on a mission. And yet, at least every ten minutes, thought of my blog crossed my mind. But I fought on. I had to leave work at a decent time to do my mystery shop (which by the way we had a horrible experience at a restaurant we usually go to. I'm sounding like the biggest bitch in the world in the report, but I'm just being accurate, since there was, in fact, a typo in the menu, toilet paper on the bathroom floor, we never did get our beers and my salad only came out once I begged for it, when Sweetie Pie received his on time)

But I'm losing my train of thought... Anyway, I managed for once to have enough spine to tell my friends "no."

And I cried and sobbed over it, knowing that I was probably a little less cool. So I buckled "But I'll post tomorrow," I swore.

And so here I am. On a Saturday morning. Women across the country are laying in bed with their husbands, turning down their sexual advances.

Me, I'm in our office, with my 14-year old cat typing away.

I hope you're all happy. I am the product of all of you. You have no one to blame but yourselves.



P.S.: I am traveling to Houston for business Monday and Tuesday. Although I will try to post from there, it might be difficult. There, you've been warned. Now leave me alone you monsters!

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